Silence
by The Big Rocky Eye
Summary: When people fall silent, others are going to say something. CRACK!
1. Aang

**Silence**

_What do people say when they see a silent Aang?_

Katara: He must be meditating.

Sokka: He's doing the sitting thing again, isn't he?

Toph: So?

Zuko: His destiny now is to master Meditationbending.

Iroh: You must look within yourself to distinguish your true self from your other self. Now, who wants tea?

Azula: HAHAHahheHAhahAHHAhehahhahaa...PUPPIES!!...hehahHAHAHAhahaha...

Mai: I don't care.

Ty Lee: Oh, he's so CUTE when he does that!

Ozai: I AM THE PHOENIX KING! OBEY!

Suki: Aang, will you be our child's godfather? ...Hey, you're sleeping?

War Minister Qin: This is my chance to take revenge on the Avatar for making Firelord Zuko fire me!

Bosco: Mrrp.

Gyatso: Aang is meditating. This is the perfect time to try out my new fruit pies!

Piandao: Meditation is essential for the warrior's mind, just as training is essential for the warrior's body.

Bumi: WHERE'S MOMO?!

Gran Gran: Wake up! If you're going to marry my granddaughter, then at least don't sit around like a lazy bum!

Jet: Have you seen the stalk of wheat I was chewing on? Aang?

Aunt Wu: Your destiny...oh, this is incredible! You will eat a papaya for breakfast tomorrow!

Haru: That is the least sexy pose I've ever seen. I'm way more sexy than that!

Hakoda: Hey, future son-in-law! You okay there?

Pakku: Meditation seems to be a bit challenging for you. Why don't you try something easier?

Yue: Is there anything we can do to help the Avatar meditate?

General Fong: Yes! Master the Avatar State! Defeat the Firelord! ...oh, wait, Ozai's already been defeated...

Moku: Whoa! I think the kid's, like, dead!

Hue: Silence is an illusion, and so is death.

Ursa: You must be the new Avatar. How cute you are. Has Zuko been bullying you?

Professor Zei: Oh! How fascinating! I am witnessing an ancient art, thought to be lost with the Air Nomads! Meditation! Must...take...notes...

Long Feng: Plotting more ways to remove me from power, Aang?

Guru Pathik: Onion-and-banana juice can help enhance your meditation skills! Only three copper pieces a bowl!

Cabbage Merchant: Clearly, he's trying to telepathically destroy my cabbages! Off with his head!!


	2. Katara

_What do people say when they see a silent Katara?_

Aang: NOO!! I don't understand! Why are you doing this, Katara? Please, talk to me! What did I do?? Please! I just want for us to be happy!

Sokka: Bleh.

Toph: So?

Zuko: Katara's destiny is to not act motherly.

Iroh: There are many things that could bring about silence. Sadness, despair, depression, worries, and anger can all bring about silence. As can enjoying a good cup of tea!

Azula: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! AHH, THE VOICES!! SHUT UP, YOU WATER TRIBE PEASANT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING, _SHUT UP!!_

Mai: I don't care.

Ty Lee: That can't be good for your complexion.

Ozai: This is the perfect chance, Pinky! It's time to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Suki: Listen, Katara. I know Sokka's an asshole, but you don't have to get so worked up over it...

Piandao: Silence is the mark of a great warrior.

Bumi: SNORT.

Sparky Sparky Boom Man:

Gran Gran: Katara! Time for chores!

Aunt Wu: SOMEONE! ANYONE! HELP! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER! SHE'S FINALLY SHUT UP!

Haru: Does this have anything to do with the "thing" Toph claims you have with me?

Jet: Time to kill the Avatar and take Katara for myself! ...well, as soon as I find my stalk of wheat.

Hakoda: What did Sokka do this time?

Kaya: I know I'm dead, but I'm still worried about you, Katara...

Pakku: Why don't you tell Grandpaku what's wrong, my dear?

Bosco: Mrrmph.

Chit Sang: ...and then I robbed the Fire Nation Treasury, and made away with, like, three hundred gold pieces that I stashed somewhere, but then I got caught and was thrown in the Boiling Rock, then your brother came, and he rescued me... HEY! DON'T IGNORE ME, you (censored)!

Yue: May the spirits of the Moon and Ocean help Katara to cast off her curse of silence...

Teo: Katara, you need to open up more.

Tho: Hey, whaddya reckon she's doin', Hue? Some sort of Waterbendin'?

Ursa: I know you must be upset because Zuko's been bothering you lately. Don't worry, I'll beat some sense into him.

Oyaji: If you come visit us at Kyoshi, I'm sure we can cheer you up again.

Pu-on Tim: According to my sources, you should be crying, not staying silent. Oh, and the carving on your necklace is backwards.

Meng: Floozy.

Cabbage Merchant: Obviously, she's plotting some sort of cabbage sabotage! OFF WITH HER HEAD!


	3. Sokka

_What do people say when they see a silent Sokka?_

Aang: NOO!! SOKKA! DON'T DIE ON ME!!

Katara: Who are you? What have you done to Sokka?

Toph: Sokka...isn't saying anything. How can this be? Has Sokka finally shut up? IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!

Zuko: Sokka? Are you okay? Did Suki break up with you?

Iroh: Confucius say, "Silence is the true friend that never betrays."

Suki: WHO KILLED MY BOYFRIEND?! MUST...KILL...

Azula: You...hehhehheh...YOU...YOU!! I am d-by-dx! PREPARE TO BE DIFFERENTIATED!

Mai: I don't care.

Ty Lee: Hey, cutie! You know, you're so _cute_ when you do that. Oh, isn't that cute! You cute little thing...

Ozai: Stage one of my diabolical plan is completed. Silencing the Unsilenceable Boomerang Guy will cause a violation of physical law. It's the ULTIMATE WEAPON!! FEAR ME AND MY SILENCING POWER!!

Piandao: Sokka's finally shut up? O RLY??

Zhao: It just may be an effect of being three hundred million miles under the sea in an alternate dimension, but I think it's gotten quite a bit quieter around here.

Bumi: WHERE'S MOMO?

Sparky Sparky Boom Man: .

Kuei (Earth King): Sokka has quieted down? There must only be one explanation for this... ... ...Dai Li, take him into custody. I want him to stand trial for kidnapping the real Sokka.

Gran Gran: I firmly believe that my grandson has NOT shut up, and that this is just a vile rumour spread expressly to fool an old grandmother.

Aunt Wu: He won't be silent for long. I can see it on his face.

Jet: I'd better go "check" on this "Sokka". I think he's a Firebender!

Bato: Hakoda, I was not under the impression that your son was able to be quiet for more than 2.285 picoseconds. What's going on?

Yue: Sokka, I've never seen this side of you before. Why are you so quiet all of a sudden? If I kiss you, will you feel better? Oh, wait, I'm engaged. No, not engaged. I'm the moon now. This is dumb. Will you marry me? No, wait, _you_ have to propose to _me_. I think I'm going crazy. MONKEYS!! Sokka, say something! MONKEY!!

Monkey: Who's Sokka?

The Mechanist: NO! We must get Sokka talking IMMEDIATELY! According to my latest research on the fabric of spacetime, Sokka's talking is the only thing that keeps the fine structure constant from changing! If he stops, there's no telling what's going to happen! We might even cause a vacuum metastability event!

Prof. Zei: Silencing Sokka has the same effect as division by zero: the world is destroyed. Thankfully, I'm safely in the Spirit World, surrounded by my favourite things of any world: BOOKS!! My...precious...

Hakoda: Impossible.

Kaya: Impossible.

Pakku: Impossible.

Bosco: Impossible.

Appa: Impossible.

Cabbage Merchant: MY CABBAGES!!


	4. Toph

_What do people say when they see a silent Toph?_

Aang: I'm sorry, Toph...I guess you sort of took me by surprise...I mean, you always seemed to be attracted to Sokka more, and...well, I like you and everything, but it's just that...well...I like Katara...in a different way...

Katara: I wasn't aware that it was within Toph's capabilities to _shut up_, but I guess I stand corrected.

Sokka: Can you believe it? Toph went crazy and attacked my Suki statue! Oh, and she isn't talking to anyone.

Zuko: She looks like she's thinking about her place in the universe.

Iroh: Sharing tea with a fascinatingly silent stranger is one of life's true delights.

Suki: Come on, Toph! Don't be so down! We girls have to be tough!

Azula: When the mice jabberwocked at Air's Rock, they had a lot of jumping to do. They had to slap, plant and learn to find bullets. The keys also had to define the Water Tribes that were already eating on the blue land. Imagine what life was like during this time. Would you have respirated to have been a pitcher? What do you click the most difficult task the picturesque twigs were faced with? Have you ever laundered Air's Rock? (1)

Mai: I don't care.

Ty Lee: Your complexion is terrible. Do you know how terrible your skin is? And that hairstyle! What have you been doing to yourself? You look like a guy! We have to fix this. Come on!

Ozai: I'm sure this is not a significant factor in my plans to take over the world.

Mama Beifong: Poor Toph. She must be so scared!

Master Yu: When in doubt, STRIKE THROUGH YOUR OPPONENT'S HEAD! ... ... I need to pee...

Xin Fu: I am better than her... I am better than her... I am better than her...

Appa: Why won't you snuggle with me? You'll feel better, I promise! Come on, I'm warm and fuzzy! (2)

Papa Beifong: Young lady, you are now permanently grounded. You are under no circumstances to leave your room. I will have a guard on you twenty-four hours a day. And just to be safe, an enforcer of the Law of Conservation of Energy will be by your side at all times, making sure you do not use your Earthbending to try and escape. Don't argue with me, Toph. This is for your own good.

Haru: You are so sexy when you do that, my sexy, sexy lady. Would you like to go out with a very sexy me and sexily overpower the world with our sexy sexiness?

Blue Spirit: ...

Jet: Is it working, Toph? Is the Avatar falling for you? Can I finally have Katara for myself? ... ... ...Have you seen my stalk of wheat? ...I don't care if you're blind, _have you seen my stalk of wheat??_

Long Feng: You are an enemy of the state. I may not be the king's advisor, but I still declare you an enemy of the state. The state being, of course, myself. You should know that enemies of the state do not last long in that capacity. Of course, unless that state is myself...

Smellerbee: Are you trying to copy Longshot?

Cabbage Merchant: I'm watching you, young lady! If you do anything to my cabbages—MY CABBAGES!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!

* * *

(1) A Mad Lib based on a worksheet about pilgrims at Plymouth Rock. Air's Rock is _not_ Ayers Rock. If you know where Air's Rock is, you get a cookie!

(2) An inside joke involving a guy reading Appa's mind. Perhaps I'll post the story one day.


End file.
